LIFE AS AN INTERN.

 Ok dear readers, you know, unlike what I had imagined a long time ago before my IT began, I really hardly have anytime for myself. I go to work at around 7 am and return home very tired anytime between 6pm and 9pm and of course, you know the next thing is to fall on the bed and sleep .. So, I am really sorry I haven’t posted anything in a long time... Lol, well, IT has been fun *ish* I have met quite a number of people and it has really exposed me to another part of life.. really.. Today, I will talk briefly about a few of my IT experiences at The Obafemi Awolowo University but before I continue, guess what? I have grown taller by 0.5 inches and bigger too lol.. check my picture out.lol..ok, and one more thing; I LOVE YOU BIMBO :-D and maybe Love doesn’t suck afterall :D

LIFE AS AN INTERN

The funny thing is I remember having a brief discussion with Keji sometime last semester and I sounded so excited that I was going to have my IT somewhere away from home and I was going to be staying alone for the first time in my life  and I remember how she looked at me and promised me it wasn’t going to be a very funny experience .. lol, sorry keji, the experience has actually been funny but not in the very comfortable way I thought though..  Ok let’s check out some of my experiences..

1)      I Thought I could Cook

Before my IT, I used to tell most of my female friends who had a reason to ask “Oj, can you cook?” that “see ehn, If I cook for you, you will just marry me”..lol.. Marry ko!! Actually, my IT opened my eyes to the fact that if I did cook for you then, you might probably not even talk to me again  ..I couldn’t cook at all!! It then occurred to me that I had really never cooked all on my own before; my younger sister Rhoda was always there to tell me when to put which ingredients and in what quantity.. Well, the first meal I cooked was a disaster and unfortunately, it was beans. First I put salt when I was boiling it and I added ororo (vegetable oil) instead of palm oil. Then I didn’t put onions and I put plenty of pepper (I thought it was the pepper that gives it that really brownish red color) . lol when the thing wasn’t looking like beans I had to call my sister.. After she laughed at me for the first 3 minutes of my call she even decided to play with my head.. She asked me to add more pepper, add palm oil with garlic and onions (trust me, I had every single ingredient you can think of) well I did and funny enough, my beans was now looking like real beans.. wow! I was so happy …..UNTIL I tasted it!! The beans was soo peppery and it dint even taste like beans sef, it tasted more of beans-ish.

10 DUMB REASONS WHY GIRLS SAY NO!

I kinda woke up very happy this morning... I had a real fun filled Friday night.. I sure did Thank God it’s Friday yesterday night.. lol…  My IT has been fun and I probably wouldn’t have ever had it better anyway...

Quite unfortunately, my friend just suffered a heartbreak and I really feel for him o…..  after all the credit that boy used during the toasting process (all that money would have summed to the whole  of my pocket money  ) it’s very painful and the sad thing is the girl said “It’s not you.. It’s me” and this bro just lay on the bed SPEECHLESS!

First let me give a shout out to The Sarcastic Center (TSCNG) he actually inspired me to write this post after reading something similar on his blog (www.tscng.wordpress.com) .. Big Shout out to you bro..

Well, if you have ever loved a girl, then you should be familiar with heartbreak.. it’s like they  work hand in hand.. as in, I mean  with love comes heartbreak.. Don’t get me wrong oo... if you want to break up or tell the guy NO! Please do ,but  try not to  throw him into a state of :

Sometimes anyway, hearts are meant to be broken (in a way) but Please lady, if you will break a heart, try to put some effort into it. ..`and don’t turn him into Hitler.. I actually just leant that Hitler became the way he was just because a babe told him NO! (that’s his business anyway)..

So today, I want to examine some of the silliest reasons girls give for saying NO … oya, let’s go check them out.. and me I will tell you their real meanings o.. in case your babe once told you or ever tells you anyway…

11)      “You deserve better….”   
 
     Whenever a girl actually throws a NO at you with this reason, just go and cry somewhere… the truth is, that” you deserve better” actually means .. “ may amadioha strike you dead!.. me?? Go out with you?? Ye! Am I that terrible?? God Forbid!!” Bro, just lock up unless you are ready to kiss her toes and the sole of her foot .. just then MIGHT she say a yes out of PITY ..but the truth is the real meaning of “You Deserve Better” IS “I deserve better than you”  she probably will go get a mirror and weight balance after that day anyway ;)

22)      “My feelings for you are so Intense… they scare me…”   
 
      sorry bro.. this time it’s a NO!! .. if you like kiss her shoes from today till tomorrow, the answer will still be NO! she actually means “my feelings for you are totally nonexistent”

33)      “You are like a brother to me….” 
 
       OMG!! Sorry bro!! This one is bad!! It could actually mean many things..  It could be a synonym for “you are like a maga to me” because you might  have probably taken her to the mall, a cinema, several dates  and all .. Bro might have been so sure NOTHING in this world would make her say no but!! Alas!! She put him in the “like a brother” zone..  Chill, hope you know there is a difference between a “brother zone” and a “like a brother zone”  .. if she says “you are a brother to me” then that is the brother zone.. it means she can lean on you, she can call you when she is troubled (and all those other Bollywood rubbish shaa) in short ehn, she can  almost trust you with her life .. but in the “like a brother zone” the poor girl is even confused.. She doesn’t even know where to put you!  but definitely not the brother zone.. It means “you confuse me” .. “you are confusion” ..”you will confuse my life” soo… NO!! … bro .. Just try not to hang yourself!

44)      “I need my Space…” ..
 
       Ha bro! This one is bad o… don’t let me even drag it or deceive you.. Let me put it to you straight! It means ..” I want to get far far far far far far away from you” (Maybe as far as from Bupaf to CHS and back).. Or who knows.. maybe even Further … just don’t try again

55)       “ You are a great guy .. BUT…”
    

     At this point ehn, just close your ears and RUN!! Run bro Run!! Because whatever comes after that “but” might crash your self-esteem and morale forever.. Then you won’t be able to go out with her, then you won’t be able to toast any other girl, then you won’t date anybody,  then you won’t marry, then you won’t have children, then you will now die single!! Ha! Ti Eh Ba Eh niyen!! You are in soup!! Your life is messed up ba yen!! See, just run away o and don’t ask again.. shikena

66)      “ I don’t know joo …”
 
      This one is a lie!! How won’t you know gbo??  She knows oo? Don’t mind her! It means .. “ I can’t date you but I cant let you go oo.. Who will be buying me birthday gift? Who will be keeping seat for me in chapel? Shey me I will now enter chapel and be looking for seat ni? When you are there? Who will call me every night to ask how my day was? Who will buy me suya and shawama? .. if I hear!! You are not going anywhere oo “ it means bro, you are still very useful to her so she can’t let you go like that just yet!!

lol… there are many more reasons but no space ..

 

 Moreover, I now have a job … as in I now work   !lol.. (I am doing my industrial train … and this people can use me for Africa without paying me a dime) 

so dear ladies, please no matter how hard he disturbs you, kindly cool it down before you drop it… you better don’t let him take poison .. I pity you!.. lol..

Ok, I Love you .. Drop your comments and follow me on IG @oseigajoel and on twitter @joeloseiga .. bye J

NIGERIA'S SHORT SAD STORY

This Little Girl is Someone's daughter killed in the Borno Massacre.. Is her mother alive to weep for her or bury her? She didnt deserve this :(

Nigerian Kids deserve to live. They are not politicians and should not be used as pawns. 20 female students where adopted by Boko Haram,and we know they will be used as sex slaves.

Now over 30 students were slaughtered like rams and their hostel burnt down and it is business as usual. No! We must do our little part to put an end to this,lets make March 3rd The Nigerian Child Right to Live day.

All display pictures, status updates and blog posts  should reflect this. It is high time we spoke with one voice.

Any of those kids could be ours.

Share if you believe the future of Nigeria is in our children and they deserve to live. This might just be the spark that will ignite change for our future.  :(
Join that movernment TODAY. 

10 DUMB EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE

Hey dear, how are you doing.. well, of recent I have been pretty miserable ..it looks like my two weeks as a sales boy didn’t actually end after two weeks..  this is might forth week (thanks to my mum it’s now by FORCE!!) and it’s really NOT FUNNY! Oh, and I remember telling you to try it sometime, well PLEASE DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME!! 

Thank you. Lol..  well I am preparing to go for my IT and I will be starting next week Monday..  I really hope it will be fun sha because for the first time in my life, I will be living  totally ALONE!! As in when I mean “alone” I mean I am getting a room, paying rent, cooking for myself (now, that’s the very miserable part) and making some decisions all by myself. Well, I know of course that it is going to be fun (I guess *rolls eyes*) ..lol, don’t worry, I will gist you a lot about it when I start shaa… ok, so yesterday I spoke to one of the closest and most amazing people in my life;  Amiola Damilola (I really miss her though) and then she brought up the issue of marriage and relationships :-o !!.. lol well, that was where I got the inspiration to write this shaa.. 

It is addressed mainly to guys who are still single for the following reasons and I really think they are dumb shaa.. lol check it out:   chill, Before you continue, I have to make reference to TSCNG I got some of these reasons from there shaa ; www.tsng.wordpress.com .. lol it’s a great blog and I love reading his posts a lot though I don’t know the owner.. you can check it out sometime .. oya lets see.. 

Running on Sober: THE VALENTINE SAGA

 

 

 

 

Hello dear, how are you? I am fine thank you  J . Please, save me a lot of wahala by subscribing by e-mail to this blog I hope you did enjoy the previous post of my character series about My two weeks as asales boy .. lol.. Well I have bad news: I bagged an extra two weeks for myself but this time IT IS BY FORCE!!!! And now I really can’t wait to start my Industrial Training!!! So, I have decided to start another series on my blog.. Wait! Don’t feel bad just yet.. My character series haven’t ended so, I am going to be taking the two concurrently  :D . The new series which I call “Running on sober” will  be on issues I want to rant about …Those issues might actually be critical ones and might also be junk other times   :D.. but I bet, you will always love it …..  It’s going to be fun I guess.. And that gif image up there will be the series’ theme image (photo credit goes to @G2PGRAPHIX).. ooo and you remember that girl I told you I didn’t want to see me? She JUST CAME HOME FOR ONE WEEK thanks to NUGA games *sobs* …! Lol… oya  enjoy today’s post.

 

THE VALENTINE SAGA

So, its valentine season again. ..lol.. February 14 actually has this funny way of messing with the head of the guys. It’s not their fault now..  It’s because most times they are the ones that get to be more concerned about what kind of gift(s) to give the girl especially those still in school. The most annoying thing is that while the guy is busy saving his hard earned packet money (trust me when I say hard earned)  to buy things like an ipad, a very expensive jewelry, some sought of trip to the  “Disney land”, one romantic dinner at a Chinese restaurant, most girls actually feel comfortable just buying the guys stuff like boxers and belts . #NotFair!

 

  That reminds me of the last exchange of gifts I ever had.  It wasn’t valentine though but it was all about sharing love too. So, the unit I am on campus actually organized a love feast.it was towards the end of the semester (oh and you know what happens to most guys towards the end of the semester; THEY GET BROKE!!) and I had only #2500 in my account from which #1500 was only spendable because my transport fare back home was #500 and I couldn’t leave less than #500 in my account. School was supposed to vacate on Thursday and this love feast was on Sunday; the first day of that week. Well, I picked the name of this babe like that and I was so angry! Because whatever I gave her really mattered. To cut my short and sad story shorter, I bought her a whole pack of scuzzy for #1200 out of my #1500 since there was almost no other reasonable thing left in school again and of course, it was a Love “feast” so, scuzzy could do. When I got to the meeting on Sunday, I gave her the well wrapped gift (oh my God, you need to have seen the wrapping paper sef.. it was soo fine) and she smiled and said thank you. Well, the thank you was just in time to receive my own gift.  I watched as she scrambled this small black nylon  out of her bag (well, at that point, I had to quickly convince myself that the smallest gifts were usually the best) and to my greastest surprise, I saw one #250 cufflinks that I had priced at the shopping complex at the beginning of the semester. I felt like this :    

MY TWO WEEKS AS A SALES BOY

 

Really!! Please save me a lot of wahala by subscribing to this blog by e-mail… you will see it either at the side of your screen or at the bottom. How have you been? Well, I have been fine thank you :D… Awwwww, I missed you too.. I had exams that’s why and well, they were fine J

And so when I got home two weeks ago and heard that my Industrial Training will start in march, I felt so bad  and was left at wonder with what I would be doing till then since I was going to be  alone at home with my old man and his wife. Just as I was about to give in to the natural law of days passing by where you end up doing nothing , the urge to do something really unusual started to arouse in me and just at the climax,  the idea came in #GBAM!!

 

GO AND BECOME A SALES BOY!!

Welcome to 2014

Well, its 2014... Happy new year..i am quite happy 2013 has ended for some reason i don't understand yet.. but i hope its safe to assume you are too. ....Well though 2013 was a great year, i don't really feel fulfilled.. probably because i didn't  keep to  my 2013 resolutions so i had to roll them over to this year.. i hope you kept to some of yours tho.. .. ****** 2013 was a great year and i had a lot of fun.. well in my next post, i will be giving you a recap of the interesting events that happened in 2013. *****

There is no big deal yet about the year and in short, i dint make any new resolutions except probably to post on this blog at least twice a week and to live a very simple and calm life. I have made up my mind that this year, i will pay my tithe often and also to give to the poor and spend some of my time for charity.... really, i know 2014 is going to be a very great year by God’s grace.. anyway, i don't have much to write right now... my first semester exams start on Wednesday..i wish myself the best .. Also, i have decided to open a new blog to share God’s word as led by the spirit.. you can check it out starting from next week shaa at www.joelehi.wordpress.com ...alright take care and welcome to 2014.!!