Sunday, April 6, 2014

10 DUMB REASONS WHY GIRLS SAY NO!















I kinda woke up very happy this morning... I had a real fun filled Friday night.. I sure did Thank God it’s Friday yesterday night.. lol…  My IT has been fun and I probably wouldn’t have ever had it better anyway...
Quite unfortunately, my friend just suffered a heartbreak and I really feel for him o…..  after all the credit that boy used during the toasting process (all that money would have summed to the whole  of my pocket money  ) it’s very painful and the sad thing is the girl said “It’s not you.. It’s me” and this bro just lay on the bed SPEECHLESS!


First let me give a shout out to The Sarcastic Center (TSCNG) he actually inspired me to write this post after reading something similar on his blog (www.tscng.wordpress.com) .. Big Shout out to you bro..
Well, if you have ever loved a girl, then you should be familiar with heartbreak.. it’s like they  work hand in hand.. as in, I mean  with love comes heartbreak.. Don’t get me wrong oo... if you want to break up or tell the guy NO! Please do ,but  try not to  throw him into a state of :

Sometimes anyway, hearts are meant to be broken (in a way) but Please lady, if you will break a heart, try to put some effort into it. ..`and don’t turn him into Hitler.. I actually just leant that Hitler became the way he was just because a babe told him NO! (that’s his business anyway)..
So today, I want to examine some of the silliest reasons girls give for saying NO … oya, let’s go check them out.. and me I will tell you their real meanings o.. in case your babe once told you or ever tells you anyway…
11)      “You deserve better….”   
 
     Whenever a girl actually throws a NO at you with this reason, just go and cry somewhere… the truth is, that” you deserve better” actually means .. “ may amadioha strike you dead!.. me?? Go out with you?? Ye! Am I that terrible?? God Forbid!!” Bro, just lock up unless you are ready to kiss her toes and the sole of her foot .. just then MIGHT she say a yes out of PITY ..but the truth is the real meaning of “You Deserve Better” IS “I deserve better than you”  she probably will go get a mirror and weight balance after that day anyway ;)
22)      “My feelings for you are so Intense… they scare me…”   
 
      sorry bro.. this time it’s a NO!! .. if you like kiss her shoes from today till tomorrow, the answer will still be NO! she actually means “my feelings for you are totally nonexistent”
33)      “You are like a brother to me….” 
 
       OMG!! Sorry bro!! This one is bad!! It could actually mean many things..  It could be a synonym for “you are like a maga to me” because you might  have probably taken her to the mall, a cinema, several dates  and all .. Bro might have been so sure NOTHING in this world would make her say no but!! Alas!! She put him in the “like a brother” zone..  Chill, hope you know there is a difference between a “brother zone” and a “like a brother zone”  .. if she says “you are a brother to me” then that is the brother zone.. it means she can lean on you, she can call you when she is troubled (and all those other Bollywood rubbish shaa) in short ehn, she can  almost trust you with her life .. but in the “like a brother zone” the poor girl is even confused.. She doesn’t even know where to put you!  but definitely not the brother zone.. It means “you confuse me” .. “you are confusion” ..”you will confuse my life” soo… NO!! … bro .. Just try not to hang yourself!
44)      “I need my Space…” ..
 
       Ha bro! This one is bad o… don’t let me even drag it or deceive you.. Let me put it to you straight! It means ..” I want to get far far far far far far away from you” (Maybe as far as from Bupaf to CHS and back).. Or who knows.. maybe even Further … just don’t try again
55)       “ You are a great guy .. BUT…”
    

     At this point ehn, just close your ears and RUN!! Run bro Run!! Because whatever comes after that “but” might crash your self-esteem and morale forever.. Then you won’t be able to go out with her, then you won’t be able to toast any other girl, then you won’t date anybody,  then you won’t marry, then you won’t have children, then you will now die single!! Ha! Ti Eh Ba Eh niyen!! You are in soup!! Your life is messed up ba yen!! See, just run away o and don’t ask again.. shikena
66)      “ I don’t know joo …”
 
      This one is a lie!! How won’t you know gbo??  She knows oo? Don’t mind her! It means .. “ I can’t date you but I cant let you go oo.. Who will be buying me birthday gift? Who will be keeping seat for me in chapel? Shey me I will now enter chapel and be looking for seat ni? When you are there? Who will call me every night to ask how my day was? Who will buy me suya and shawama? .. if I hear!! You are not going anywhere oo “ it means bro, you are still very useful to her so she can’t let you go like that just yet!!


lol… there are many more reasons but no space ..

 

 Moreover, I now have a job … as in I now work   !lol.. (I am doing my industrial train … and this people can use me for Africa without paying me a dime) 
so dear ladies, please no matter how hard he disturbs you, kindly cool it down before you drop it… you better don’t let him take poison .. I pity you!.. lol..
Ok, I Love you .. Drop your comments and follow me on IG @oseigajoel and on twitter @joeloseiga .. bye J