Joel Oseiga has no Religion. Love is my Religion

So I haven’t written anything on this blog in over seven months. That's a long time. I am back and I hope to continue writing for a long time. How have you been dear reader? What has life been offering you and how has your head been filtering these things. 

My life has been great, so many wonderful things have happened to me between seven months ago and now. I have read more books, visited more places and gained more overall knowledge. I have begun a master’s in Cyber Security (I am almost done now) and have been messing around with a lot of projects on IoT devices recently (Those things are super awesome). 

Also, I got a security column with signalng.com; "Doing the Cyber". Awesome name yea?  I got that name from the twitter name of @larimah  , my column has been awesome I must admit and my readers are growing constantly. Apart from that, more of my articles have been published by many major newspapers in Nigeria it has been a very awesome and busy series of months.

Industrial And Technological Revolution As Pathway To Nigeria’s Development

As Nigeria gradually slides into an economic recession, the effects of her industrial and technological backwardness can vividly be seen as almost nothing works at the moment. There has never been a more required time than now for a technological and industrial revolution.

Universities were established basically for two reasons. First and primarily for research and second, for knowledge dissemination.  It is indisputable that Nigerians are one of the smartest people in the world. We go and do exploits wherever they are found but unfortunately, most research done by universities, never get to see the light of implementation. Perhaps it is apposite to share a personal experience: briefly after my undergraduate studies, while interning as an algorithm designer and program debugger at the Centre of Excellence in software engineering, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, I met a couple of students at the software lab seeking some assistance. They were developing a robot that uses sensors to learn about the environment and then make decisions based on information gathered overtime. At the end, the robot was able to navigate the entire laboratory and perform some other tasks. Those students put in for an international robotics competition but didn’t go far since they were competing with people with more sophisticated robots and they had done theirs with the little and insufficient resources at their disposal.

An Untitled Article about a Country Yet to Lay Claim to Her Title. -Oluwakorede Cole

At the risk of sounding cliché, Nigerian youths of today have been fed tales of how the mantle of leadership would fall upon their shoulders in future, in a future where they would be ripe enough to lead a country with an enormous amount of people with diverse cultural views, ideas and dialects. This task being rather large need people who see a great nation mature enough to be greater and seize every advantage it has over other countries both large and small by leaving no chance to negativity, prejudice or pessimism. I don’t need to take you down memory lane as this article is aimed at laying a blueprint for the forward motion of a country so great but with inadequate engines (leaders) to propel it forward, so I ask for permission to assume each person that picks this up to read has adequate knowledge of the past to know where we have and should be.

Dear Mr President; Before your Time Runs Out

“You cannot get a 4-year mandate, do rubbish for 4 years, become desperate for one month and expect to be returned. Na home you dey go.”

-JJ. Omojuwa

Nigerians all over the world are known to be remarkable achievers. You might consider that a highly over-rated statement but if you take your time to look into that statement critically, you will discover the truth and simplicity hidden in it.

Honestly, it takes a lot of wisdom to achieve great things internationally and takes even more wisdom to dupe a fellow man. So, from whatever angle you have had to deal with a fellow Nigerian, you will agree with me that we are a bunch of very hardworking, intelligent and strong minded people who love to achieve things even if it is just so we can put it in the faces of our children while growing up, or for the after party. The Reasons for hard work vary from person to person but one thing is sure, whatever the reasons may be, Nigerians just love and take glory in achieving feats.  We are a country of intelligent and smart people who would never allow ourselves to be cheated perhaps due to the ‘Nigerian’ blood that flows through our veins. That we are blessed with extremely rich human resources and also, a functioning brain, is altogether a no - brainer.

LET'S TALK ABOUT RAPE

I woke up this morning planning to write about my weekend trip to Abuja and about how the sole of my shoe removed at a park in the middle of town only to see a tweet by an on air personality blaming rape on indecent dressing on the part of the ladies. I am just mad right now! So why not let’s discuss RAPE! The truth about RAPE is you never know how delicate and sensitive the matter is until someone you love experiences it. The story of the girl that was gang raped by five boys in ABSU made news both nationally and internationally years ago. What was her offence? She insulted one of the boys. We live in a cruel world but the truth is the Nigerian society encourages rape!

You don’t go about blaming rape on a girl that dressed “indecently”! Come to think of it, decent dressing is relative! There is no world known standard for what dresses are decent! The issue shouldn’t be “them rape you! Watin you wear??” Most people who get raped end up wallowing in silence because of the stigmatization attached. Nobody wants to hear her side (Does she even have a side in the first place?) ! Let me share a story I read from yeoal.com some time ago.

A Tribute to my Mother.

“Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.”  — Lamartine

I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. If you were once connected with someone, does it make sense that the connection is broken just because of a physical death? No, the connection stays. You may just have to listen differently. You may just have to talk differently. The truth is that the connection is never broken. It’s quite impossible to break the most powerful connection in the universe. As long as you exist, the connection stays. Those we love don’t go away; they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. My mother is always in mind; forever in my heart. The life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living. Forever in this heart of mine, an everlasting bond, you’ll stay, until we meet again someday.

Saying goodbye to a loved one is the hardest thing to do, more so when such loved one has left this world to join the saints. Though I have no doubt in my mind that my darling mother is now resting comfortably in the Lord’s bosom, I still found it difficult talking about her using past tenses. As she will be committed to mother earth, it’s extremely difficult bringing myself to tell her goodbye because the reality of her demise is still like a distant dream to me.

The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Every other wound we seek to heal – every other affliction to forget: but these wounds we consider it a duty to keep open – this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude.

On The Issue Of Environment And Orientation; Dear Nature, Where Have I Gone Wrong??

On The Issue Of Environment And Orientation; Dear Nature, Where Have I Gone Wrong??
Hi guys, I am so sure you missed me! I missed you too… trust me, it’s not that easy updating a blog.. especially when it isn’t tech, reviews, or news… You know , after school kinds of sucks .... not a little bit but really really sucks…. I have actually been jobless… as in totally .. I tried my hand on a couple of things already but have you ever had of “forced love”?.. yea right.. most times I just force the love and then lose interest. … I have loved almost one new thing per week now.. I tried learning Ruski (who would I speak it with sef.. lol) .. I even tried WATCHING FOOTBALL .. then I chose Arsenal!! Only for them to just break my heart on the second day of EPL…. mtcheeeew ….. Basically, it has just been one very annoying situation jare.. I soo cant wait for my NYSC..i think I love LAGOS and I really would love to serve there. .

On the Issues of BESTFRIENDS & LOVERS And FEMINISM

Good morning beautiful readers. I actually slept well yesterday night but had the weirdest of dreams though. Not some sought of nightmare or something.. but you know those dreams you just have….! that doesn’t have a beginning, middle or an end! Totally different storylines! Yeap… that kind. Anyway, I slept well and I really don’t know what happened but my old woman turned his morning’s devotion into some kind of prayer revival! Basically, it’s only the both of us that are at home.. soo.. She’s free I guess..” If the mum doesn’t pray for the family, who Will??” !! So “Bloodline” by Sidney Sheldon will be my 1572nd book in the land of the living!(Since I started counting)

After School!! What next??...... RIP MAMA

Helloooooo.. So, who missed me??  First of all, I AM SOOOOO SORRY! (Looks like these days i begin all my posts with sorry sef) it wasnt my fault.. First it was project.. you know what happens when your mates are choosing to build normal systems and applications for thier project and because you want to be different, you go and work on Fraud Detection in Debit Careds using the Hidden Markov Model?..  Yea  thats right!! you become MISERAble!.. like "OJ, lets go for Kas' birthday... Nah am kinda busy with my project bro...... " kind of miserable! Trust me, i spent a really large part of my project time looking like this:

What the hell am i supposed to do next now ??

The Conundrum of Manhood, the Zip, The Girls and the Thread!

“My elders don’t let us argue much over this issue. Just as Mazi Ugochukwu has said, let the thread face the cut and let the zip face the wrath”
Chief Okonkwo exclaimed, almost hitting the tray littered with pieces of kolanuts, as he slammed the wooden table placed amidst the community elders sitted round at the center of Mr. Ugochukwu’s sitting room
“Nonsense! My people, the people of Umuaka! —

Mr. Eze stood up from his chair, paused a second and gazed at the corners of the sitting room where everybody is gathered, as if perplexed by the art works scattered over the wall; like he had never seen them before. Then he continued

The Final Lap: PACIFY MY SOUL

So I have decided to write everyday till my final exams begin (or at least every other day). One hidden truth is I’m scared, sorry I meant really scared. Results were pasted at the department two days ago; I barely managed to escape an F in Computer Graphics. Generally, this year I had the worst result I have had so far since I began at the University; gathering a good number of Cs and a D and subsequently sucking my GP horribly. Let’s get something clear, this post is not one where I try to encourage myself or try to justify my grade point crash. By May I would be a graduate and just as I said yesterday, I think I am more anxious than excited. What next? Go for a higher degree? Get a job?

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS... WELCOME TO 2015

So, I just finished my exams yesterday! YAY!! I am so excited. Now, I have just six courses left before finally becoming a graduate. School has been a lot of fun for me this year….. Well, thanks to my exams and crazy courses like Computer Graphics, I haven’t been able to wish everyone here a happy new year. So, welcome to 2015! 2014 was wonderful, I sure was a better me. How was cross over? Mine was quite an event because I didn’t attend my local church …

LIFE AS AN INTERN.

 Ok dear readers, you know, unlike what I had imagined a long time ago before my IT began, I really hardly have anytime for myself. I go to work at around 7 am and return home very tired anytime between 6pm and 9pm and of course, you know the next thing is to fall on the bed and sleep .. So, I am really sorry I haven’t posted anything in a long time... Lol, well, IT has been fun *ish* I have met quite a number of people and it has really exposed me to another part of life.. really.. Today, I will talk briefly about a few of my IT experiences at The Obafemi Awolowo University but before I continue, guess what? I have grown taller by 0.5 inches and bigger too lol.. check my picture out.lol..ok, and one more thing; I LOVE YOU BIMBO :-D and maybe Love doesn’t suck afterall :D

LIFE AS AN INTERN

The funny thing is I remember having a brief discussion with Keji sometime last semester and I sounded so excited that I was going to have my IT somewhere away from home and I was going to be staying alone for the first time in my life  and I remember how she looked at me and promised me it wasn’t going to be a very funny experience .. lol, sorry keji, the experience has actually been funny but not in the very comfortable way I thought though..  Ok let’s check out some of my experiences..

1)      I Thought I could Cook

Before my IT, I used to tell most of my female friends who had a reason to ask “Oj, can you cook?” that “see ehn, If I cook for you, you will just marry me”..lol.. Marry ko!! Actually, my IT opened my eyes to the fact that if I did cook for you then, you might probably not even talk to me again  ..I couldn’t cook at all!! It then occurred to me that I had really never cooked all on my own before; my younger sister Rhoda was always there to tell me when to put which ingredients and in what quantity.. Well, the first meal I cooked was a disaster and unfortunately, it was beans. First I put salt when I was boiling it and I added ororo (vegetable oil) instead of palm oil. Then I didn’t put onions and I put plenty of pepper (I thought it was the pepper that gives it that really brownish red color) . lol when the thing wasn’t looking like beans I had to call my sister.. After she laughed at me for the first 3 minutes of my call she even decided to play with my head.. She asked me to add more pepper, add palm oil with garlic and onions (trust me, I had every single ingredient you can think of) well I did and funny enough, my beans was now looking like real beans.. wow! I was so happy …..UNTIL I tasted it!! The beans was soo peppery and it dint even taste like beans sef, it tasted more of beans-ish.

10 DUMB REASONS WHY GIRLS SAY NO!

I kinda woke up very happy this morning... I had a real fun filled Friday night.. I sure did Thank God it’s Friday yesterday night.. lol…  My IT has been fun and I probably wouldn’t have ever had it better anyway...

Quite unfortunately, my friend just suffered a heartbreak and I really feel for him o…..  after all the credit that boy used during the toasting process (all that money would have summed to the whole  of my pocket money  ) it’s very painful and the sad thing is the girl said “It’s not you.. It’s me” and this bro just lay on the bed SPEECHLESS!

First let me give a shout out to The Sarcastic Center (TSCNG) he actually inspired me to write this post after reading something similar on his blog (www.tscng.wordpress.com) .. Big Shout out to you bro..

Well, if you have ever loved a girl, then you should be familiar with heartbreak.. it’s like they  work hand in hand.. as in, I mean  with love comes heartbreak.. Don’t get me wrong oo... if you want to break up or tell the guy NO! Please do ,but  try not to  throw him into a state of :

Sometimes anyway, hearts are meant to be broken (in a way) but Please lady, if you will break a heart, try to put some effort into it. ..`and don’t turn him into Hitler.. I actually just leant that Hitler became the way he was just because a babe told him NO! (that’s his business anyway)..

So today, I want to examine some of the silliest reasons girls give for saying NO … oya, let’s go check them out.. and me I will tell you their real meanings o.. in case your babe once told you or ever tells you anyway…

11)      “You deserve better….”   
 
     Whenever a girl actually throws a NO at you with this reason, just go and cry somewhere… the truth is, that” you deserve better” actually means .. “ may amadioha strike you dead!.. me?? Go out with you?? Ye! Am I that terrible?? God Forbid!!” Bro, just lock up unless you are ready to kiss her toes and the sole of her foot .. just then MIGHT she say a yes out of PITY ..but the truth is the real meaning of “You Deserve Better” IS “I deserve better than you”  she probably will go get a mirror and weight balance after that day anyway ;)

22)      “My feelings for you are so Intense… they scare me…”   
 
      sorry bro.. this time it’s a NO!! .. if you like kiss her shoes from today till tomorrow, the answer will still be NO! she actually means “my feelings for you are totally nonexistent”

33)      “You are like a brother to me….” 
 
       OMG!! Sorry bro!! This one is bad!! It could actually mean many things..  It could be a synonym for “you are like a maga to me” because you might  have probably taken her to the mall, a cinema, several dates  and all .. Bro might have been so sure NOTHING in this world would make her say no but!! Alas!! She put him in the “like a brother” zone..  Chill, hope you know there is a difference between a “brother zone” and a “like a brother zone”  .. if she says “you are a brother to me” then that is the brother zone.. it means she can lean on you, she can call you when she is troubled (and all those other Bollywood rubbish shaa) in short ehn, she can  almost trust you with her life .. but in the “like a brother zone” the poor girl is even confused.. She doesn’t even know where to put you!  but definitely not the brother zone.. It means “you confuse me” .. “you are confusion” ..”you will confuse my life” soo… NO!! … bro .. Just try not to hang yourself!

44)      “I need my Space…” ..
 
       Ha bro! This one is bad o… don’t let me even drag it or deceive you.. Let me put it to you straight! It means ..” I want to get far far far far far far away from you” (Maybe as far as from Bupaf to CHS and back).. Or who knows.. maybe even Further … just don’t try again

55)       “ You are a great guy .. BUT…”
    

     At this point ehn, just close your ears and RUN!! Run bro Run!! Because whatever comes after that “but” might crash your self-esteem and morale forever.. Then you won’t be able to go out with her, then you won’t be able to toast any other girl, then you won’t date anybody,  then you won’t marry, then you won’t have children, then you will now die single!! Ha! Ti Eh Ba Eh niyen!! You are in soup!! Your life is messed up ba yen!! See, just run away o and don’t ask again.. shikena

66)      “ I don’t know joo …”
 
      This one is a lie!! How won’t you know gbo??  She knows oo? Don’t mind her! It means .. “ I can’t date you but I cant let you go oo.. Who will be buying me birthday gift? Who will be keeping seat for me in chapel? Shey me I will now enter chapel and be looking for seat ni? When you are there? Who will call me every night to ask how my day was? Who will buy me suya and shawama? .. if I hear!! You are not going anywhere oo “ it means bro, you are still very useful to her so she can’t let you go like that just yet!!

lol… there are many more reasons but no space ..

 

 Moreover, I now have a job … as in I now work   !lol.. (I am doing my industrial train … and this people can use me for Africa without paying me a dime) 

so dear ladies, please no matter how hard he disturbs you, kindly cool it down before you drop it… you better don’t let him take poison .. I pity you!.. lol..

Ok, I Love you .. Drop your comments and follow me on IG @oseigajoel and on twitter @joeloseiga .. bye J

NIGERIA'S SHORT SAD STORY

This Little Girl is Someone's daughter killed in the Borno Massacre.. Is her mother alive to weep for her or bury her? She didnt deserve this :(

Nigerian Kids deserve to live. They are not politicians and should not be used as pawns. 20 female students where adopted by Boko Haram,and we know they will be used as sex slaves.

Now over 30 students were slaughtered like rams and their hostel burnt down and it is business as usual. No! We must do our little part to put an end to this,lets make March 3rd The Nigerian Child Right to Live day.

All display pictures, status updates and blog posts  should reflect this. It is high time we spoke with one voice.

Any of those kids could be ours.

Share if you believe the future of Nigeria is in our children and they deserve to live. This might just be the spark that will ignite change for our future.  :(
Join that movernment TODAY. 

10 DUMB EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE

Hey dear, how are you doing.. well, of recent I have been pretty miserable ..it looks like my two weeks as a sales boy didn’t actually end after two weeks..  this is might forth week (thanks to my mum it’s now by FORCE!!) and it’s really NOT FUNNY! Oh, and I remember telling you to try it sometime, well PLEASE DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME!! 

Thank you. Lol..  well I am preparing to go for my IT and I will be starting next week Monday..  I really hope it will be fun sha because for the first time in my life, I will be living  totally ALONE!! As in when I mean “alone” I mean I am getting a room, paying rent, cooking for myself (now, that’s the very miserable part) and making some decisions all by myself. Well, I know of course that it is going to be fun (I guess *rolls eyes*) ..lol, don’t worry, I will gist you a lot about it when I start shaa… ok, so yesterday I spoke to one of the closest and most amazing people in my life;  Amiola Damilola (I really miss her though) and then she brought up the issue of marriage and relationships :-o !!.. lol well, that was where I got the inspiration to write this shaa.. 

It is addressed mainly to guys who are still single for the following reasons and I really think they are dumb shaa.. lol check it out:   chill, Before you continue, I have to make reference to TSCNG I got some of these reasons from there shaa ; www.tsng.wordpress.com .. lol it’s a great blog and I love reading his posts a lot though I don’t know the owner.. you can check it out sometime .. oya lets see.. 

Running on Sober: THE VALENTINE SAGA

 

 

 

 

Hello dear, how are you? I am fine thank you  J . Please, save me a lot of wahala by subscribing by e-mail to this blog I hope you did enjoy the previous post of my character series about My two weeks as asales boy .. lol.. Well I have bad news: I bagged an extra two weeks for myself but this time IT IS BY FORCE!!!! And now I really can’t wait to start my Industrial Training!!! So, I have decided to start another series on my blog.. Wait! Don’t feel bad just yet.. My character series haven’t ended so, I am going to be taking the two concurrently  :D . The new series which I call “Running on sober” will  be on issues I want to rant about …Those issues might actually be critical ones and might also be junk other times   :D.. but I bet, you will always love it …..  It’s going to be fun I guess.. And that gif image up there will be the series’ theme image (photo credit goes to @G2PGRAPHIX).. ooo and you remember that girl I told you I didn’t want to see me? She JUST CAME HOME FOR ONE WEEK thanks to NUGA games *sobs* …! Lol… oya  enjoy today’s post.

 

THE VALENTINE SAGA

So, its valentine season again. ..lol.. February 14 actually has this funny way of messing with the head of the guys. It’s not their fault now..  It’s because most times they are the ones that get to be more concerned about what kind of gift(s) to give the girl especially those still in school. The most annoying thing is that while the guy is busy saving his hard earned packet money (trust me when I say hard earned)  to buy things like an ipad, a very expensive jewelry, some sought of trip to the  “Disney land”, one romantic dinner at a Chinese restaurant, most girls actually feel comfortable just buying the guys stuff like boxers and belts . #NotFair!

 

  That reminds me of the last exchange of gifts I ever had.  It wasn’t valentine though but it was all about sharing love too. So, the unit I am on campus actually organized a love feast.it was towards the end of the semester (oh and you know what happens to most guys towards the end of the semester; THEY GET BROKE!!) and I had only #2500 in my account from which #1500 was only spendable because my transport fare back home was #500 and I couldn’t leave less than #500 in my account. School was supposed to vacate on Thursday and this love feast was on Sunday; the first day of that week. Well, I picked the name of this babe like that and I was so angry! Because whatever I gave her really mattered. To cut my short and sad story shorter, I bought her a whole pack of scuzzy for #1200 out of my #1500 since there was almost no other reasonable thing left in school again and of course, it was a Love “feast” so, scuzzy could do. When I got to the meeting on Sunday, I gave her the well wrapped gift (oh my God, you need to have seen the wrapping paper sef.. it was soo fine) and she smiled and said thank you. Well, the thank you was just in time to receive my own gift.  I watched as she scrambled this small black nylon  out of her bag (well, at that point, I had to quickly convince myself that the smallest gifts were usually the best) and to my greastest surprise, I saw one #250 cufflinks that I had priced at the shopping complex at the beginning of the semester. I felt like this :    

MY TWO WEEKS AS A SALES BOY

 

Really!! Please save me a lot of wahala by subscribing to this blog by e-mail… you will see it either at the side of your screen or at the bottom. How have you been? Well, I have been fine thank you :D… Awwwww, I missed you too.. I had exams that’s why and well, they were fine J

And so when I got home two weeks ago and heard that my Industrial Training will start in march, I felt so bad  and was left at wonder with what I would be doing till then since I was going to be  alone at home with my old man and his wife. Just as I was about to give in to the natural law of days passing by where you end up doing nothing , the urge to do something really unusual started to arouse in me and just at the climax,  the idea came in #GBAM!!

 

GO AND BECOME A SALES BOY!!

Welcome to 2014

Well, its 2014... Happy new year..i am quite happy 2013 has ended for some reason i don't understand yet.. but i hope its safe to assume you are too. ....Well though 2013 was a great year, i don't really feel fulfilled.. probably because i didn't  keep to  my 2013 resolutions so i had to roll them over to this year.. i hope you kept to some of yours tho.. .. ****** 2013 was a great year and i had a lot of fun.. well in my next post, i will be giving you a recap of the interesting events that happened in 2013. *****

There is no big deal yet about the year and in short, i dint make any new resolutions except probably to post on this blog at least twice a week and to live a very simple and calm life. I have made up my mind that this year, i will pay my tithe often and also to give to the poor and spend some of my time for charity.... really, i know 2014 is going to be a very great year by God’s grace.. anyway, i don't have much to write right now... my first semester exams start on Wednesday..i wish myself the best .. Also, i have decided to open a new blog to share God’s word as led by the spirit.. you can check it out starting from next week shaa at www.joelehi.wordpress.com ...alright take care and welcome to 2014.!!